Funcho
Sexy chocolate: champagne and berry flavor 60%
Smell: Wow, very strong smell. I haven't even moved my nose close to it yet. Just sitting up straight, there's a berry fruit loops smell. Up close it's quite different! Sharper, and more specifically blueberries. A bright playful in-your-face smell. Reminds me of carnivals and circus costumes.
Sprinkles of extra sour berry on the bottom. A slightly gritty wheaty thing. Very sweet. Reminds me a little of gourmet cough syrup from the 2050s. Definitely those circus costumes again; sequence, glitter, face paint, head dresses. A trapeze act. It's cloying yet oddly sophisticated at the same time.
Sleepy chocolate: blueberry and lavender flavor 60%
Oh gosh, 1mg of melatonin is a lot of melatonin, 3x what I'd usually take, and that's what's in a serving of this.
Smell: Quiet and dark. Soft and a little florid. Honestly, sleepy.
Blueberry specks sprinkled on the bottom. Sweet. Mostly smooth. "Kinda cheap." Just barely lavender. Definitely dark blue black like the moonless midnight sky, except that it's super sweet. Kinda gritty. A bit smeary, like it's coating my mouth in something greasy. It tastes a lot like wanting to go to sleep but not really being able to because of a headache or being too hot.
In this and the last one, there's been a quality I have a hard time putting my finger on, but it reminds me of "fake" or "manufactured". Not "authentic", not "wholesome", not "real. As though you're in VR and the pressure of the headset keeps jabbing your awareness to remind you that this is not real life, it's only a game, the real world is somewhere else.
Rhythm chocolate: ginger snap flavor 60%
Smell: Whooooa! (Said that out loud.) Cinnamon. Cinnamon candy specifically. Red hots. Red hots with just a hint of sweet chocolate underneath. And maybe something a little green vegetable. [Edit: I think I may have confused cinnamon and ginger? Though the label does say it contains both.]
I think there are a lot of different spices going on here. I don't know what they are, but my brain suggests "turmeric". "One of the yellow ones." In addition to the very obvious cinnamon. It's like the inside of an apothecary in Final Fantasy. "Fennel, fenugreek." (I think my brain is just supplying mostly-unfamiliar-to-me spices.) Also somehow the cool backward pull of water running beneath a boat's hull. There are a few extra sour specks here and there. I think this is what a white witch lady in fantasyland would hand out to treat Female Problems. Oh, which is actually what this claims to be for; interesting.
Reflections: All of these chocolates taste vaguely medicinal. Good marketing, I guess? But I think I'd prefer a more solid, less-sweet base chocolate. Still, even though I don't love them as chocolate, they're pretty damn impressive as art, given that they're marketed as something-like medicinal. "Yeah, I really feel like somebody's trying to treat my particular ailment with foraged roots and berries" is an awfully narrow target to hit, and each one of these these for sure hits it.
